I'm sick with this life. I'm telling you the truth. It's not that i'm not happy with this life, of course the happy moments come in their particular ways in a path that we can't even reach at our mind to think of them which they will pass right before our glimpse of eyes. Isn't it? I'ts like it's smothering me with this emptiness hole in my life. The sorrow, gloomy looks, boring stuffs, it's choking my mind as i feel that i want the ecstasy or some kind of cocaine or lorezapam just to keep me holding on while i'm counting my steps crossing the most thinnest thread hanging at the edge of the most steep escarpment and below,waiting for me is a giant chasm which is lurring, longing,hungry, desiring for my blood,crack of bones and scattered flesh. You wake up every morning, with the same wall facing you,the same sound of the spinning fan, rubbing your eyes to get rid of the blurry vision, get ready and wow! Same things happen everyday. No one speaks to you. Only listen to someone speaks to you and of course no responds react from your physically or mentally body as well as the soul. I need something to develop my brain. My skills in life. Yeah! The licence, cooking stuffs, house chores (sewing and washing not included), I got them all! But I need to do them consistently. Please!Someone help me to get out of this kind of life. I need to talk. I don't want to hear anymore. It's hurt. A sort of pain. I'ts blocking my wonderful life. You want to scream, but you can't because it might be something embarrassing if the neighbour hear you. You want to run from your house, but you got no one and no where to go. You just want to stay to calm yourself, but the ambions suck!You want to let these things out, but you got no one to listen to you and also to trust.
'He' stories.
Because of me. I just don't want him to be in a dead meat because of me. But what really happen is the way i treat him just make him sicks! I'm sorry my dear. It's not my intend. I'ts not what you think. I don't want to be a troublesome to you. He caught a fever because of me. He's out to somewhere to buy some t.up for me. Unfortunately, the rain was pouring like a river restless rushing forward. Poor my little baby boy. and the consequence is, he has a tough time in his work. I'm so sorry.
'We'
We all sick with barriers blocking make their ways crossing the fine line we all draw in our entire of life. Some say life is short,fun,full of miseries,killing our soul softly, but for me it depends on how we handle it. You know the way, you find the destination. You might have something on how to fix it, but you don't have the tool to make it right. So, you need to find your way. Of course, I'ts much easy to say it than face it straight to your face, but by hook or by crook to just stay alive in a better way of life, you have to find the way. I'm myself still in blur to search for the right way. Come. Take my hand. We walk together along these needle-full road!
p/s You're not alone. We share the same feeling.
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